Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
