I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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