guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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