That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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