Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
