My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
