When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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