I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
