I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sext me about skeletons
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
