Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
