Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
