Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
