Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
