the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
