wat bout pragnant strippers??
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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