i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
