He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
