Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
