im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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