Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
