I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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