I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
