Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
pray to the hookup gods
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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