dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
