put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
