As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
