Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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