if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude i'm inner monologue high
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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