I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
