Those balls look pretty dangerous.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
this is an emotional support booty call
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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