I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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