My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
