But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
