Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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