chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
