we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
