well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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