the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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