Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
