ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
