The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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