I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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