people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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