I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
