Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I want her autograph on my taint
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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