Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
