Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
