I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
