hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
