i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my shit smells like andre
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
