i just sent this text using only my big toe
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sorry about my life...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
